Since the children’s care cost is an average of 27% of families’ incomes, parents often turn to grandparents to carry part of the load. The grandparents may find themselves half-time or even completely. They may also be asked to help families provide or before school care, often the biggest cost of their home.
“For some of the grandparents, they are talking to me that they provide a lot of supervision, support or gifts (financial or other) without having a lot of introduction or appreciation of the parents of the generations,” said Rigina Cope, a health physician and founder of the Center for Mental Health.
Even the ancestors who live with limited income feel that they attract the support of their children and grandchildren, and sometimes at the expense of their needs or desires.
“I have worked with some of my ancestors who are caught in the distance between providing financial support to their descendants in exchange for entering the buckets list or even more practical such as repairing the delay,” Cope said.
Active and honest relationships are the key to avoiding conflict and hurting feelings. For financial demand, family members should explain their needs and ask that if there is something, the grandmother and grandmother feels that she is able to participate. Adjust the amount of the gift, how many times and for whom. (There may be the benefits of taxes for a grandmother and a grandmother who pays tuition fees directly to school, for example.) Talk how much you will need these money so that grandparents can manage their budgets.
If the grandmother offers care of the child, the conversation must be careful and continuous. What are your family needs? What can the grandmother provide in a reality in the short or long-term? What time are they ready and can they take this responsibility? Do you compensate them in any way or cover the child-related expenses that may arise? Where will you care: your home or they? What are your ground rules about food, screen time, sleep, and many other things?
Even if you don’t pay them for the monitoring you offer, don’t forget the expenses of events that may accumulate quickly.
“The most obvious psychological pressure is the report of the grandparents. Because many grandparents are in a stable income, the idea that they must be responsible for one or more generation, whether part of the day, week or for a long time, can be unbelievable.